Piggy attended the Achievers Award Ceremony just recently. As usual in such functions there will be speeches by the management. Our COO no less, gave a short powerful speech on how are we going to “go the extra mile” for our customers. That got piggy thinking of some stuff that have puzzled piggy brain… but NO MORE, with COO’s new regime and motto “ go the extra mile’. A lot of things suddenly make sense…..
Colder than meat freezerPiggy’s factory air conditioning has gone the extra mile. YES, no doubt the management have taken “go the extra mile’ seriously. Piggy secretly suspect the air con temperatures dial must be in the negative. Piggy’s paw will froze within 3 hours of maneuvering the mouse. Suddenly typing sms-es no longer a few second chore. In order to meet target, piggy have to go toilet 3 times a day to defrost the frozen paws using the hand dryer. (no, sorry cant use the microwave….piggy want to defrost it, not cook the paw)
Walk the extra mile
Yeah, they have literally shift the office building to the outskirts of Sungai Wang and still claims it is easily accessible. (Note : old office is just next to hard rock café and 5 minutes walk from all public transport and food outlet). The only public transport that will soon pass by piggy’s new office is the ambulance….if you can loosely call it public transport. Nowadays a fast walker takes at least 20 mins to walk to office, and you can get food after walking for 15 mins. Well they do have a big cafeteria with a pathetic stall and the queue go miles and miles. If you haven’t figure that out, its management’s way of telling you to practice ‘ the extra mile’ ideology.
Going miles and miles
Management employed a security guard that literally has to walk miles and miles a day. YES, he weights bout 200lbs and probably 5’ 8”. All he does is just round the office. He cruises along the walkway like a parade car 24-7. YES make that a big parade car, for if he comes along the walkway, you either duck into the nearest cubicle to let him pass by or get squash and flatten. What a great job he has, he must be thanking GOD everyday for this heavenly job. Piggy has been cracking brain to explain his presence. We are only doing insurance for GOD’s sake, and everything is paperless. What is there to steal? Bomb threat? The last time piggy checked, we have not declined any terrorist/ guerilla members’ policies. BUT….after the ceremony, piggy know at last. The security guard is actually THE MASCOT. How clever of our management to have a life mascot circling our modest office reminding us to ‘ go the extra mile’
Missing miles of toilet paper
This must be the women office syndrome. In old office no toilet paper, in new office also no toilet paper. The only good improvement is the store room is located just next to the toilets. Therefore, employees have to ‘go the extra mile’ to get the toilet paper from the store and put in the toilet. Did piggy tell there are also more sinks now but there is only a soap dispenser? In old building 4 sinks and 2 soap dispenser. New building has 6 sinks and 1 dispenser. HM…… who fail his maths?
Pantry miles away
In old office, pantry is within office compound. Still employees grumble that it is far. For those who had once grumbled, check out the location of the pantry in the new office. Its next to the toilet, which employees have to walk like 5 mins, and open at least 2 doors. The 3rd door (which is the pantry room door itself) opens around 8.00am. If you come around 7.30am and wishes to start your day with a mug of hot coffee, but u realize u forgot to clean your mug yesterday… you can start banging your head on the wall to kill the morning hangover or wait till 8.00am for the last door to open. For the grumblers, please remember now you are suppose to ‘go the extra mile’ to clean your stuff.
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